Sweet moments

Today, we had church and then came home.

D2 fell asleep before we even got on the freeway and stayed asleep as I took him out of the car seat and placed him into bed. 

I got an hour or so of down time until he cried, so I went up to his room to get him up, but he was still laying in bed. I knew this meant he was still tired, but also knew he heard had me come in... there was no turning back now.  

So I picked him up and sat in his rocking chair. He proceeded to curl up on my lap and rest his head on my chest. 

Now at 19 months, moments like these don’t happen too often, and even less when most days I am at work during his nap. Rather than try to put him back in his crib once he feel back asleep, I decided to take him to the couch and we proceeded to curl up on the couch and cuddle. 

He lifted his head and wanted me to turn the TV on but I told him we were going to keep resting and that we could turn the TV on later. He laid his head back down, and we just laid there together. I began to dose off, and the next time I looked at the clock twenty minutes had gone by. 

I soaked up the closeness, as I know this might not happen again for a while. My face was nice and sweaty where I had laid my check against his head. He stirred a bit, and snuggled back in. We laid there for a hour. He was a sleep. I was in and out of sleep. The moments I was awake, I cherished the moment, and thought of days like this that happened more often when he first arrived. 

There’s nothing more precious then snuggling up with your child. 

It warms my heart.

good bye "fat-fat" jeans!

Ok, so I’m not one who likes to talk about the size of jeans she wears, but I do like to when I am able to get rid of my "fat-fat" jeans. Yes...saying fat twice is very necessary. Lets just break it down into pants sizes for you...with out actually telling you what size that is. You can put whatever number in you head you'd like. 

Jeans by sizes~ from smallest to largest.

“I can’t remember when I ever wore this size” aka Super skinny jeans!

“Skinny Jeans”

“Average Jeans”

“a little more than average”

“Fat Jeans”

“fat-fat Jeans!”

Ok...the back story...

This actually goes all the way back to my Freshman Year in college.

I realized that I was a lot bigger than I would like. I was actually in “fat jeans”. Thus I embarked on my Weight Watchers journey and after 2 years I was stuck somewhere between “Skinny Jeans” and “Average Jeans”. I was ok with this...even though I would have loved it if I could have actually got my skinny jeans on with out sucking it in. But I could get them on...and would have be very content at being in such a size. Although i was concten,  I wanted to continue on... hoping that I could lose 15 more pounds and see if “Super Skinny Jeans”  were ever really an option.

But needless to say, my life changed a lot after my sophomore year. Life found me moving out of my parents home, working, full-time at school and a new school at that. 

When life gets complicated.... out goes any sort of plan to keep weight off...or even think about such a thing as one adjusts. At least that is how it worked in my world.  Mid way through my junior year, love found its way to me...which we all know when we are happy and in love...the food is good too!

My now Hubby, D, took me out on many dates, which only continued to add my weight back on. ( no its not his fault that I like creams and sauces..and high calorie foods) It was just bound to happen.

So we get married, move to idaho for a year, and I start my journey..kinda. I was working out...but if you want to lose, you cant just work out... You must watch what you eat...and I mean calories. There much be a deafest! 

Ok..so we move back...and once again..I start to work out, but 2 weeks later I find myself pregnant. So what’s the point.. right? Im going to be gaining anyways...or that is what I told myself anyways. (note to self....don’t ever tell this to yourself again). A pregnant woman really only need 500 more calories a day to help little one grown. 

Lets also keep in mind when I got pregnant...I was already wearing my fat jeans. Yup that is right...I gained all my weight back plus 6 pounds. Go me!...not so much :-(

So...Here I sat...thinking it would just come off once I gave birth. I was wrong...I only lost about 5 pounds...was soo swollen it wasn’t even funny...and no matter how much I sucked in...those fat pant were not going on...lets not even talk about the extra loose skin from pregnancy. 

It was very much sweats...thats all I would wear...or my prego pants..... 

Now any pregnant women will tell you, the last thing she wanted to do after giving birth is put those stupid things back on.! Constantly yanking them up when you are pregnant...and it doesn’t change after. 

So finally, after  4 or 5 months I gave in an bought the “fat-fat” pants. I needed something to wear to work..and didn’t want to have to wear work pant on non-working days. And so I had my first pair of “fat-fat jeans"...and to top it off...they still weren’t comfortable to wear. 

Its been 19 months...yes ...you read that right 19 months.. since I gave birth. But alas...I am at least in my “fat jeans”...it may not seem like much of a accomplishment...but every little bit helps! And soon I can pull the box with the “little more then average jean” out..and so on.

I started so, so with my weight lose journey in march...when I baby turned one, and went full speed head this last month. Over the last 9 months I have lost 11 pounds and am 9 pounds away from being at my pre-prego weight. 

Then all I will have to lose is my fat weight. Yes it is necessary to differentiate. It gives me little goals to work toward. 

I want to say thanks to my friends who inspired me! 

Thanks Ann, Brooke and Heather... 

you gave me that extra little push I needed!

KD

Remembrance

Yesterday I had the honor of remembering my father. 

The armory he spent many weekends meeting at before deployments, and then gathered back at upon his return, had just been remodeled. They chose to have a ceremony to honor two families, and we were able to cut the ribbon.

I entered the armory and it looks wonderful. It had the same bones to it, with some minor changes, and fresh paint, and the latest  amenities  to ensure its “green-ness”.

They moved the entrance to the back. It was once just a big metal garage like door, now it is a entry! 

As I sat and listened to different people being acknowledged, I let my mind wonder. Taking in the memories that this building held for me. This was were I, too, spent many weekends. Helping my mom feed the men, sewing on patched and comforting and connect with other military families.

At one point during the ceremony, the relived my father’s death. My eyes watered as I tried to hold back the tears. I used my scarf the wipe them away. Hoping that no one saw me. It’s not something I like to share with most. The pain of losing him is one that I don’t wish upon anyone, and I generally keep to myself. 

Ironically, I am reading a book with my girlfriends. “The Road Less Traveled” by M.Scott Peck.  The first topic is about problems and pain. Basically M.Scott Peck says that most of us try to ignore the pain of life, hoping it will go away. But it wont, it will only stay there and continue to make life harder until we face it and deal with the pain. That we need learn how to embrace life’s problems and pains. This is one pain that I know I need to work on. The question is where do I even start. 

Back to the armory. 

I let my sister chase D2 around the big open room. As I watched, it reminded me of when she was that age, and I was the one chasing her, and making sure she stayed out of the men’s way as my mom did what she did best. Moments of my dad playing with her, and picking on my flashed through my mind as my eyes would fall upon each man in uniform. 

The BDU’s, as they always do, overwhelmed my emotions. Men in uniform always do this to me. Not the emotion of lust and love!

Its one of remembrance, sorrow, and joy... They way life was.  And the hole in me of the one thing that is gone from my life. Most days, the hole is there and goes unnoticed. Others .... like yesterday, it is very prominent.

I feel my father was to glue to our family, he was that one thing we all had in common. Whether it be us worrying for him while on his deployments, or the one who picked on all of us. And I don’t mean the friendly type picking on. He could push your buttons to the max, and yet it was ok, because that was the way he showed us he loved us. This is one of the things I miss the most. 

Wish you were here....

Looking forward to the day we meet again. 

Love you Dad.

EST. 2006

To all of you who know us personally, and for those who dont, I would like to welcome you to my family blog. A place where you might find yourself laughing at the interactions between my husband and I, or just a place to catch up on whats new with our little family of 3.

For those of you who dont know me,

Let me introduce myself, You can call me KD, and I have two great men in my life, My Husband D, whom I married in 2006, and my son D2, a 19 months.  

Between the two of them life keeps pretty interesting, and I thought it would be nice to have a place to share such moments with whomever found interesting.  I will also be using this blog to share my love for crafts and my lates creation, or thoughts about, and invite you into my life as a Mom, wife, crafter and friend.

I look forward to moments to come, and hope that we might connect on something in this big world. 

Untill then,

KD